Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
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It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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