Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My balls are so social today.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
