never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize