It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
