dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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