So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
