It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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