If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
