i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Randomize
