Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
