Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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