Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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