My Higher Power is John Stamos
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize