i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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