I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
