youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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