Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
