I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
