I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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