something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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