She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
