i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
