and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
