Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
