then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
