you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
