after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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