DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
