You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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