i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
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I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
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it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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