; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
