Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
