Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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