I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I feel like death gave me a hand job
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
