Did you just see the Batmobile???
my being single is dangerous.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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