I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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