I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You are the jesus of drinking
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
