ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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