one word: firstdatebathroomanal
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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