Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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