i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
