once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
