Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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