Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
