I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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