What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
