yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We're too hungover to prance.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
