Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
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I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
And then my night got REAL pukey
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I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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