why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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