no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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