Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
