Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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