We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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