When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
