areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
