I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
