he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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