Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
