Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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