i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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