i just wanna soil my oats bro
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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