I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
