The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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