we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
