Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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