He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
